Unbreak Me Read online

  Before I could do anything, he grabbed my wrists in one hand and pulled my arms above my head. "You just need to remember what we had and how good we were together,” He whispered into my ear.

  "Kyle stop please," I pleaded, crying now. I didn't know what to do. "Just leave,”

  "I can't do that baby. You need to remember. We were great together,” He said.

  I started to panic, knowing what he was planning to do. I couldn't believe he was doing this to me.

  "Stop Kyle, please don't do this," I begged. I kept trying to free myself. I was eventually able to free my leg, so I stomped down on his foot as hard as I could. The action caused him to step back releasing my arms.

  "Shit" he growled. Pushing him away, I tried to run, but he grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. The look in his eyes was so dark. I didn't have time to do anything before he backhanded me across the face causing my head to snap violently to the side.

  "You little bitch, what you think you're too good for me now? You. Are. Mine,” He said again, grabbing me by my hair and dragging me to my room. He threw me down on the bed and I could see him start to remove his pants his pants. Was he really going to do this to me?

  Not knowing what else to do, I just curled up in a ball and cried. A moment later I felt his hand brush the cheek he had just hit. "I'm sorry baby. I didn't want to hurt you, but you just wouldn't let me show you how good we can be,”

  I whimpered at his touch, so he gave me a glare and grabbed my hips flipping me onto my stomach. Grabbing my wrists again, he pulled them over my head and held them with one hand as he used his other to rub between my legs. I just didn't know what to do. If I yelled or tried to get away, he would just hit me again.

  Too scared to do anything, I just gave up and tried to think of anything else. "God I missed you baby," he growled as I felt him position himself between my legs and then he thrust into me hard. I screamed loud, from the pain. Yes, we had been together in the past but it had been a while and never like this.

  He took my scream the wrong way through or maybe he just wanted to think it was a cry of pleasure. "Oh, you liked that didn't you baby?" He asked.

  I just continued to sob while he thrusts harder and faster into me. The whole time he kept saying how good it was and how much he loved me. How we fit together perfectly, and I just lay there crying.

  After what seemed like an eternity I finally felt him tense and then yell my name as he finished inside me.

  He pulled out and rolled over pulling me with him to lie on his chest. "Oh, Ari baby, that was amazing," he whispered to me. I just whimpered. "Tell me you love me. Tell me how good it was,” I couldn't speak, so I just continued to cry. “What you don't think I'm good anymore? How many little college fucks did you let in my pussy while you were away?" He asked pulling me to look at him, but I still couldn't speak. I guess he took my silence as my answer because the last thing I remember he called me a little slut grabbed me by my hair and slammed my head into the wall.

  CHAPTERtwo

  Ari

  I kept hearing voices: my mom's, Callie's and a few I didn't know, but I couldn't figure out where they were coming from. I felt like I was awake, but my eyes wouldn't open and as hard as I tried, I couldn't find a way to talk to them; My mom's and Callie's voices seemed so concerned and at times they would cry. I wanted to comfort them, to tell them everything was okay, but I just couldn't seem to find a way and I really wasn't sure it was. Memories or nightmares, I don't know, but they would consume me. Kyle, the anger on his face. He kept yelling at me and calling me a slut and then he was holding me and telling me he loved me. I didn't know what was real and what was just in my imagination.

  I don't know how long this went on but one day I could smell what I think was cleaning products, and I could hear a loud beeping next to me. I slowly tried to open my eyes, and there was white, and very bright light. I found a way to turn my head, blinking away the spots the light had caused and as my vision became more regular I saw Callie watching me. "Ari, Ari you're awake. Jen she's awake," she yelled towards the door.

  Seconds later the door flew open, and my mom rushed into my side. "Oh baby, my baby girl," she cried.

  “Mom,” I tried to say, but my mouth was so dry it was barely audible. I moved my hand towards the water pitcher next to my bed and Callie quickly poured me a cup.

  She handed it to me, saying “Drink slowly, Ari. You’ve been out for three days, you need to take it easy,” My eyes went wide at this news.

  “What happened?” I asked. Mom and Callie looked at each other, frowns on their faces.

  “You don’t remember?” Callie asked.

  I thought for a minute and then it all came back to me. “Kyle,” I whispered. They both just gave me sad looks.

  "Oh baby I'm so sorry this happened to you, but right now you need to get some rest and not worry about anything. You're safe, and nobody can hurt you now,” My mom was crying as she said all of this. I just nodded and cried a little too. How could this have happened? How could he?

  After a few minutes, the doctor walked in, smiling at me. He was a young doctor, probably no older than thirty. "It's good to see you awake, Ari," he said. He reached towards my face, and I automatically flinched away from his touch.

  “Ari, he’s your doctor, he’s not going to hurt you baby, Like I said you were safe now,” I whimpered and nodded. Then I turned my head back towards the doctor.

  "Ari I'm just going to check your pupils and ask you about your pain okay?" I nodded. After he was done he told us that everything looked great, and I could be out as early as tomorrow.

  He did recommend seeing someone for the injuries Kyle caused that only I could see, but I’m not sure I really want to see a shrink. They'll want me to open up, when all I want to do is forget.

  The next afternoon I was released. I was a little scared to go home; I mean that’s where it all happened. I still haven’t asked about Kyle? Is he in jail, how did they even know he did this to me?

  Once we were home I took a shower and then laid in the spare room falling asleep, but I woke up only an hour later screaming as I had another nightmare of that night. I can’t seem to sleep without having one.

  My mom and Callie ran in each coming on either side of me and trying to calm me as I was starting to hyperventilate. “its okay honey,” My mom cooed pulling me to her.

  Once I had calmed down some, I went with them to the kitchen, while mom cooked dinner. Sitting at the table, I finally asked the question. “Wh…what happened to Kyle?”

  They looked at each other than to me. ”Honey, when Kyle did this to you he was very messed up on drugs and alcohol. Then when his mother came by to see you in the hospital she told me that Kyle was bipolar. Did you know that about him?”

  I shook my head. How could I have been with him so long and not know that? Also what did she mean by was bipolar? I was starting to get a bad feeling and wasn't sure I wanted to hear anymore right now. "Well, I don't think many people did,” She continued "His mom said he was on med's to control it, but I guess he had stopped taking them,”

  I nodded my head with understanding. "Once the drugs were through his system, he must have remembered what he did. He called freaking out. He pretty much admitted that he was the one who did this to you, and then he hung up. I received a call the next day from the police. Honey, Kyle… he took his life baby,” She said with tears in her eyes.

  “What? No!” I screamed falling to my knees. “No, no, no” I cried. This can’t be happening. I was upset and scared from what he had done to me, sure, but I know that wasn’t my Kyle. He just needed help. How could have not seen what was going on with him? How did no one see what was going on with him? Callie sat next to me and held my hand as I continued to cry.

  After I had calmed down some, mom pulled out an envelope from a drawer. "They found this at his apartment," She said handing it to me. "The police read it, but that's it. I'm so sorry sweetie. I know you’re upset, but you need to know we
all love you and are here for you when you need us,”

  I got up and hugged my mom. "I know mom thank you. I'm going to go to the porch and read this" I said. She nodded, and Callie grabbed my hand as I passed giving it a little squeeze. I gave her a weak smile and continued to the porch. I curled up on the swing and after a few calming breaths pulled out the letter.

  My sweetest Ari,

  When I woke up this morning, and remembered what I did, I just couldn’t take it. I know nothing I do can ever make up for what I did to you. You, the love of my life. I still can’t believe I did what I did. I know there are no excuses, but when you left for college, I just started getting so depressed. A few months ago I started hanging with a different crowd. I started partying all the time, and started doing coke, my mind just got fucked up. I did a lot of bad things that I deeply regret, but the things I did to you were the worst.

  The drugs and alcohol turned me into a monster, and I hurt the most important thing in my life. I feel so sick from what I did to you. I'm so, so sorry love. I want you to know that I always loved you and even in my death I will continue to love you. No one should have to go through what I did to you. Please don't let what I did change the sweet, beautiful woman that you are. You are a smart, beautiful, and strong women. Don't let this stop you from following your dreams.

  God I hate what I did to you, my beautiful Ari. I am so truly and deeply sorry. I know what I'm doing is probably the selfish thing to do, but I just can't live in a world where I could get so fucked up that I could hurt you. I hope one day you will know I didn't mean to do what I did, and because I know how you think, you need to know that nothing that happened was your fault. You couldn't have changed anything. This is all on me and how I chose to handle things. Please, please always live your life to the fullest. You deserve the world Ari. I don't know where I will go from here, but just know I always loved you.

  With all of the love, I have.

  Kyle

  I reread his letter three more times as deep sobs racked my body before I finally fell asleep curled up on the porch swing.

  CHAPTERthree

  Ari

  It's been over a year since that night. I ended up moving into the spare room. I couldn't even look in my old bedroom let alone try and sleep there. What Kyle did to me left me so broken I know I can never be the girl I once was, but I just wish I could get a little bit of me back. I still can’t even be alone with a guy, let alone have one touch me. The only time I even get out of the house is to go shopping, jogging with my mom, work, therapy, or to my self-defense classes. I have been taking a class twice a week for the last six months. I love it, and I love all the defense skills I have learned.

  I even put those skills to the test about two weeks ago. Callie practically forced me to the bar with her one night. I know she was just trying to help pull me out of my shell. Her plan backfired though. I completely freaked when a guy came up and put his hand on my arm while asking to buy me a drink. Needless to say, we left, and she hasn't asked me to go back.

  I still have guilt about Kyle. I always think if I would have just done things differently none of this would have happened. I know from my therapist that I can’t blame myself for what he did, but it’s hard sometimes.

  About four months ago, I finally decided to get a job. I have been working as a secretary for a small law firm, one of my mom's friend's works at. It’s great, but I'm ready to leave this little town.

  Everywhere I go I see Kyle and remember the old times. People are always giving me sympathetic stares or stop to say how sorry they are for my loss and I just can't take it. We decided to keep what Kyle did to me quiet, as much as we could anyways. The police, his family and my family know, but that's about it. Kyle wasn't always the monster he was that night, and I wanted everyone to remember the Kyle I had loved for so many years not what the medical condition and drugs turned him into.

  To getaway I sent my resume to a bunch of architecture firms in San Francisco. It's only about three hours from home, and my college roommate lives there so I won't be completely on my own, and with it being so close I can still see my mom and Callie as much as I want. They have been so great to me this whole time, I don't think I could have gotten through this without them.

  I only sent my resumes out about a week ago, and I already have phone interviews with two different companies. The first is a smaller one that was looking for a secretary. Not my first choice, the pay is minimal, and the job description seemed pretty boring. I also didn't think it would give me the opportunity to learn or grow. The call went well, and they offered me a job on the spot, but I told them I would give them my answer by the end of the week.

  The second one was a much larger firm, and the C.E.O. was looking to replace his PA. The current PA is who I talked to. She is retiring at the age of seventy. Her and her husband decided it was time to live closer to the grandkids. We talked for a while on the phone and then she setup a video interview for the next day where I would meet the C.E.O. who will hopefully be my future boss.

  I was excited to find out about this job, and it felt like the next day just dragged on and on. I think that's the way it always is when you're waiting to do something. After work, I setup for my video interview in our home office. I thought the bookcase in the background would look more professional. I was still dressed from my job, so I just redid my hair and makeup.

  At six o'clock, I signed on and waited for them to join, but when they connected I only saw one older woman. "Hi you must be Miss Berkley. I'm Mrs. Crane, but please just call me Carla,” she said smiling wide. She seemed friendly, and her smile helped to put me at ease.

  “Hi Carla It’s nice to meet you, oh and please call me Ari,” I told her giving her a friendly smile in return. She seemed like such a nice woman. She had short white hair, with a thin build, and dressed in a navy pantsuit and nude pumps.

  "Ari that's different, I really love your name Ariana. I even suggested it for my soon to be fourth granddaughter," She said giving me a kind smile, but I could see her give me the once over, like I had just done to her.

  “Thank you,” I said Not sure how to respond about the whole naming a grand kid after me. I mean it’s sweet she like my name so much, I guess.

  “Well Ari, I’m sorry to inform you but Mr. Carter will not be able to join us today. He was called to a job site. He did tell me he trusted my judgment and if I thought you would be suitable for the job; I have the green light to hire you,”

  "Okay well, I'm sorry that I wasn't able to meet him today, but if all goes well, I will hopefully meet him soon,”

  “I do hope so my dear. So I see here that you graduated in the top one hundred with a degree in architecture from Yale University. That is very impressive Ari,”

  "Thank you, Architecture is my passion, it’s what I wanted to do, since I was six. My dad was also an architect, so I guess it runs in the family,”

  "Well, then you and Mr. Carter already have that in common and he also graduated from Yale a few years back. Hmm, so Mr. Carter must not be too old if he just graduated a few years ago that would put him under thirty. That is impressive for him to be so young and to be running such a large firm. Carla's voice brought me out of my thoughts and to focusing back on her.

  “I do see here that you don’t have a lot of work history. You've only worked for one company as a secretary for a small law firm. Is that correct?” She asked.

  "Yes, I worked there part-time through high school and then I started back about four months ago. It's something for now until I find a job in the field of architecture,”

  "Well, as you know this job will not be as an architect itself, but you will work closely with one of the best in this business,” She said while still looking down at my information.

  "Yes and that's what I want, to work under someone and learn everything I can from them, before I make the move to actually designing. Do you think there is an opportunity to advance in this company in the future?" I asked

&nbs
p; "Oh yes dear, especially with your school history, you seem to be a bright, motivated girl. I am sure Mr. Carter will be thrilled to have you on his staff,”

  We continued to talk for another thirty minutes about my college experience and her future retirement plans. She's moving in only three weeks to be with the rest of her family. I could tell she was excited about it.

  "Well dear, if you want it the job is yours we've already discussed pay. If you take it, Mr. Carter would like you to start the Monday after next. He is on vacation that week, so he thought it would be a good slow week for me to train you. I will be leaving the week after that, so I only have that time to work with you. What do you think dear?" she asked.

  I didn't even need to think about it I knew this was the job and company I wanted. I was a little nervous about working so closely with a guy, but I was going to have to get over it. This is my future, and I refuse to let what happened to me destroy everything I had worked for. "I would love the job Carla. Thank you. I guess I will see you in the office in a couple weeks then,” I replied.

  "Oh, that's so great and I just know you and Mr. Carter will get along wonderfully. I will email you everything today," She said excitedly. We said our goodbyes and then disconnected.

  As soon as I disconnected I called back the other offer and declined. I didn’t want to make them wait when I wasn’t going to take the job. I then called the office I worked for and told them the news. They knew I was looking and were excited for me.

  I was so happy I decided to break out a bottle of champagne and order some Thai. I called both Callie and mom and told them to be here for dinner because I had news.

  The food arrived right before my mom and Callie did. “Hey guys, I got a job!” I yelled as soon as they came into the kitchen.

  Callie jumped up and down letting out a little squeal “The one you wanted with C.C. Designs?” she asked